Inspiring Workplaces 
The Way Work Ought to Be!

#1,073 - May 14, 2025

As I have said to my audiences for years, people like and want to work with people who have a good sense of humor. In fact, a study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health found that people value likable colleagues even more than competent colleagues! 

One of the best styles of humor to make yourself more likeable is self-deprecating humor. Laughing at yourself and admitting your very human blunders is a fabulous way to come across as more human and more approachable. The research suggests that the happiest people also tend to be the ones that are more readily able to laugh at themselves. There is, however, a safe, confidence-boosting type of self-deprecating humor and a not-so-safe confidence-destroying style of self-deprecating humor.  

The researchers found that when you practice what's known as "affiliative humor" it boosts your ego and self-confidence while making you even more darn likeable than you already are (difficult to imagine, I know!). Affiliative humor is light-hearted, inclusive humor that encourages group laughter, reduces social anxiety, and strengthens trust. It's humor that doesn’t make fun of anyone - including yourself! People who practice this style of self-deprecating humor experience higher levels of self-esteem and lower levels of depression. 

Self-defeating humor, however, a style of humor where you put yourself down in an overly negative way results in lower levels of self-esteem and higher levels of depression. Self-defeating humor makes you feel worse about yourself, not better. It's a style of humor that you might use to beat yourself up with or ingratiate yourself to the rest of your team by demeaning yourself. 

The key is to laugh at yourself in a way that you'd want others to treat you; with grace, patience, and kindness that embraces and gently laughs at your very human foibles in a manner that reminds everyone around you that we are all human and the incident you are laughing about could easily happen to anyone!